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How Mizzou Basketball Keeps Winning
Mizzou men's head basketball coach Frank Haith sacrifices a goat to the Tiger gods to thank them for Mizzou's No. 2 national ranking.
Norfolk State’s secret to upset over Mizzou: “We’re strong off cod”
It was a tragic day of March Madness for all of Tiger Nation. While the 86-84 upset of the two seed University of Missouri by the 15 seed Norfolk State University stunned the nation, no one was surprised in Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk, a small fishing village on the coast of Virginia, has a long history... MORE »
A plea to the NCAA Selection Committee
Dear NCAA Selection Committee, I know on paper we might not look that impressive. I know that our out of conference schedule wasn’t as good as some of our competitors, but don’t sleep on SEMO. Regardless, I think we did pretty alright. We beat some good teams on our way to a Big XII tournament... MORE »
Mizzou Copes with a Second Loss
Note: All basketball players interviewed for this article asked for anonymity for fear of the coach giving them the “stank eye” ““ the most feared of all punishments. After the devastating loss to Oklahoma State this past week, Mizzou fans were at a loss. Mizzou basketball players, meanwhile, were hysterical. And furious. “When the students... MORE »
Student Wins iPod Shuffle, Instead Given First-Generation Zune
Mizzou basketball games have their own mixture of a family culture, fan pride and intense competition. None more so than at halftime, where there are a plethora of fan-participation competitions. This year, a new game was introduced. A blind race””Truman collects the contestants’ shoes, the players face the student section, and Truman scatters shoes around... MORE »
Mizzou Students: “Stop showing the videos of Laurence Bowers”
In a valiant effort to inspire and invigorate the student body, the University of Missouri has begun showing videos to promote this year’s athletic theme “One Mizzou.” These videos are highlighted by the appearance of star power forward Laurence Bowers, which normally makes sense. Bowers is friendly, easily recognizable, and one of the more... MORE »
The Mizzou Fiasco
I must say I watched this whole Mizzou fiasco occur, and I wanted to speak my own two cents. A lot of people criticized Campus Basement and their actions. However, I’d like to take a step back and say maybe we should re-consider. I actually think how they responded was well thought-out and professional. When... MORE »
MU Greek GPA’s Plummet Due to Adderall Shortage
Three things and three things alone dictate the survival of the residents in greek town; sex, adderall and beer. With finals threatening to surface in a month, frequent trips to gas stations all around Columbia have become a must in order to stock up on Natural Light. Wall’s of shame have transformed into... MORE »
“Open Mike Night” not the same as “Open Mic Night” says Medical Student
A dozen or so eager students arrived in the basement of the Medical Sciences Building last night with acoustic guitars and crumpled notebook pages heavy with the ink of fresh poetry. The sudden appearance of knit caps and Chuck Taylor’s amongst the sea of surgical scrubs and face masks surprised the med students, who were... MORE »
Student Fuzzy on Uganda’s Location on Map, Still Thinks Kony Totally Sucks
Social media has put stalking sorority girls on hold for the time being as Facebook and Twitter alike have become social activist beehives in the last 48 hours. Kinda-for-profit organization Invisible Children released their eleventh film online last week, chronicling the rebellion by northern Ugandan warlord and leathery boot doppelganger Joseph Kony. Pleading with viewers... MORE »
Complete stegosaurus fossil turns out to be Cheerios, broken bits of Cheerios
The entire scientific community held its collective breath last week when the most complete Stegosaurus fossil yet discovered was announced via press release. The press release reported that the nearly complete remains of the 27-foot armored stegosaurid dinosaur were discovered on a kitchen floor in Columbia, MO. “As there was never a precedent for the... MORE »
In-denial Cardinals open spring training with a cardboard cutout of Albert Pujols at first base
In an ongoing attempt to convince themselves that perennial all-star Albert Pujols did not really leave the team, the St. Louis Cardinals have opened their 2012 Spring Training season with a cardboard cutout of the slugger at first base. The life-sized cutout displays the multiple MVP Pujols in his Cardinals uniform after hitting a home... MORE »
Mizzou men’s golf team demands nicknames.
After hearing the catchy nicknames of some of Mizzou’s most popular athletes, such as “DGB” and “Flip” Pressey, the Mizzou men’s golf team has demanded the student body allow them to go by catchy nicknames too. Despite golf being one of less popular sports at Mizzou, the team argues that they are every bit as... MORE »
Green-Beckham Commits to Mizzou, Forced to Delete Arkansas’ Number
Early Wednesday morning, the nation’s top wide receiver prospect Dorial Green-Beckham officially announced he had committed himself to play at the University of Missouri. Almost immediately following the announcement, Mizzou started laying down some rules for the relationship, starting with Green-Beckham deleting Arkansas’ number from his phone. “He is committed to me now, we are... MORE »
Mizzou Preemptively Forfeits Alabama Game, Plans Barbecue Instead
After watching Alabama’s 21-0 ass-kicking of LSU, the University of Missouri athletics department has decided to forfeit the game against Alabama scheduled for Oct. 13 at Faurot Field. Instead, Mizzou will be hosting a barbecue with Alabama at Faurot Field. “We have all the confidence in the world in our coaches and players, but I... MORE »
Mizzou Students When the Sidewalks are Icy
Photo by TheChive MORE »