Last Friday, in honor of alcohol responsibility month the Wellness Resource Center held a pizza party where they served up slices, soda and a slew of awesome facts about the dangers of alcohol. This event has been hailed the most successful event of all time, managing to convince every MU student, regardless of age, to put down the bottle indefinitely.
“It was just a whirlwind of facts and fun.” Said WRC Booze Free Pizza Party attendee Chelsea Klingbeil. “I didn’t know what I was missing when I went out and partied every weekend. If I had known sober pizza parties could be such a rollicking good time I never would’ve started drinking in the first place.”
The night started off with an informational PowerPoint full of really new and interesting facts that most students found instantly changed their mind about drinking.
“Did you know that one shot, one beer, and one glass of wine all have the same alcohol content?” said another attendee, Senior Brian Brannaugh. “That really changes the way I think about drinking. But what really got me was that that is completely new information that they don’t tell you all throughout high school, at drivers ed, at the doctors office and on posters literally everywhere.”
Some were not quite as quick to warm up, but piping hot pizza always does the trick!
“They got so much Domino’s they needed two delivery boys!” said Junior Todd Richmond. “Pepperoni, cheese, veggie, even Hawaiian! Pineapple! On pizza! I have never had a night of drinking that has been crazier than pineapple on pizza. Consider me converted!”
As if that wasn’t quite enough, the night concluded with Mizzou’s most prized secret weapons: a dance party and board games. Event coordinator Gina Schore brought along her iPod speakers and kept the bass bumpin’ until well past 12 o’ clock. She also brought a few of her personal favorite board games from her stash, including not only checkers, but Chinese checkers, making the bold statement that an anti-drinking lifestyle isn’t just for whites any more.
“The dance party was the final nail in the coffin that was my drinking career,” said Klingbeil. “I mean, come on, we did the cupid shuffle AND the electric slide. At one point Gina even let me plug in my iPhone and we got to listen to “4 Minutes” by Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake. Everyone went crazy.”
Brannaugh, sidelined from the dance floor due to a toe he fractured by falling down two flights of stairs after a night of heavy drinking, took much solace in the board game options.
“Who needs King’s Cup when you have Parcheesi?” Brannaugh said.
While the event was very well attended, those who could not come found out about the success of the event quickly enough. Like that, the drinking culture at Mizzou dissolved faster than a few shots of Congress dissolves your liver. All thanks to one totally awesome pizza party.