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Alpha Sigma Sigma Builds Coat Room, Becomes Top Frat on Campus
In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »
Jake’s Movie Monday: Mizzou Basement Promo
Promo within a promo within a promo MORE »
Hell Yeah Quidditch Team, Hell yeah!
Only took a deal with the mafia, 2 broken fingers and half a year to find these guys. But here it is, Mizzou’s quidditch team. And yes, the girl in the picture is trying to jump, “I want it to look like i’m flying!” MORE »
Dismal Fast Food Options Leading to Depression, Lower Enrollment at University of Missouri
A recent study conducted by the University of Missouri found that the lack of fast food options located on campus has resulted in increasing cases of depression in the student body, as well as a significant drop-off in expected enrollment for incoming freshmen. The study, a yearly satisfaction survey, revealed alarming details about the state... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week: Cialis!
THIS IS SO TRUE. MORE »
Lone Douchebag Refuses to Celebrate Earth Day
A Columbia man was the cause of outcry yesterday as he chose to be the only person on the planet not to participate in recognizing Earth Day. Arthur McArthur, the man that single-handedly ruined Earth Day for everyone, doesn’t regret his decision at all. “What has the earth ever done for me?” said McArthur. “How... MORE »
“Safety Dance” Outlawed; Second Civil War Ends
Chaos. Bloodshed. Annihiliation. 1983–the beginning of the most violent and horrific outbreak of violence in Columbia since the Civil War. Fast forward 29 years–the day it ended. Families of the victims won’t be seen parading around Columbia. Shattered CD cases can be seen strewn all over downtown. (henceforth referred to as, “The District”). Unbeknownst to... MORE »
Top 6.5 ways to get people to go to Basketball Games
It’s just a known fact that people attend football games more than any other sport here. Hence volleyball, wrestling and other unattended sports are free to get into. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the 300 pound brawny men wearing spandex, could be the excessive amount of pre-gaming that occurs before the game starts or... MORE »
Campus Dining to transform Baja Grill in 2012
Few things are more mediocre than Campus Dining. Their standards are low, and as long as less than 30% of the students contract salmonella, all is generally well. The food is to remain edible and the service staff are to wash their hands most of the time after using the rest room. But past that,... MORE »
Maneater releases annual April Fools Edition called ‘The Carpeteater’
On April 1, 2012 the Maneater, Mizzou’s primary newspaper, published their annual April Fools Edition. This year’s title: the Carpeteater. After years of doing an April Fools edition, their reign has come to an end with their latest edition of the Carpeteater. Not only did they throw in slurs toward women but managed to insult... MORE »