Dear NCAA Selection Committee,
I know on paper we might not look that impressive. I know that our out of conference schedule wasn’t as good as some of our competitors, but don’t sleep on SEMO. Regardless, I think we did pretty alright. We beat some good teams on our way to a Big XII tournament championship, and Frank Haith cried. He cried! He’s a grown man, and he cried on National television. When was the last time you saw a grown man cry on national television? I’ll tell you when: never. That’s number one seed material.
More reasons why we deserve the loneliest number? We beat Baylor three times, Kansas once, and most impressively, Texas Tech twice. Do you know how hard it is to beat Texas Tech? Not that hard, actually, but you get the point.
North Carolina didn’t win the ACC tournament, Syracuse didn’t win the Big East, [Loser of the Big 10 tournament] didn’t win the Big 10, Kentucky didn’t win the SEC, and Akron didn’t win the MAC. I know we didn’t win any of those conferences either, but that’s because we aren’t in them, and personally, I think it’s really unfair to hold that against us.
Most importantly, we have a bunch of white people on our bench, and what’s not to love about that? How many white people does your basketball team have? None. Because you’re not on a basketball team.
So please, we deserve a number one seed, and if nothing else, we’re asking really, really nicely.
The University of Missouri student body.