In a valiant effort to inspire and invigorate the student
body, the University of Missouri has begun showing videos to promote this
year’s athletic theme “One Mizzou.”
These videos are highlighted by the appearance of star power
forward Laurence Bowers, which normally makes sense. Bowers is friendly, easily
recognizable, and one of the more talented student athletes on campus. Seeing
his face as he prominently announces that we are in fact, “One state, one
school” should inspire all the students.
But there’s a problem. Bowers, who should be leading this
year’s basketball team to glory, will miss the entire season with a torn ACL.
Nothing gets the Mizzou student body going like seeing
arguably the best player on the team proudly pronouncing our school unity,
riling up the viewers in a swell of Tiger pride, then crushing their spirits
with the realization that the Tigers just lost their best big man.
Maybe it’s time for the university to find a new face for
the commercial.
“Every time I see the ad, I want to cry,” Sophomore Roger
Menler said. “Do they really have to rub in our faces that we just lost our
best player? I mean what the fuck! That’s like saying “Merry Christmas, Santa’s
dead.’”
The students’ anguish was highlighted when the men’s
basketball team was honored on the field during the football game against OSU
on Oct. 22. The students were treated to the sight of their starting big man
hobbling along on crutches right after seeing a video of him throwing down a
huge slam-dunk like a big middle finger
to everyone watching.
The university obviously does not mean to tear apart
everyone’s spirits with their otherwise uplifting message. But the pain of
losing Bowers to injury and the basketball team to a mediocre season should be
grounds to pull the ad because it’s really just cruel at this point.
“It’s just painful, you know?” Menler said. “Mizzou
basketball always used to inspire so much hope. Now when I see the videos of
him acting so upbeat, it just kinda rips your heart out.”
