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Reasons I Love Living in Missouri….
Saw this license plate on the way to the airport. #prolifeswag!
Columbia, Missouri- Scandal and college sports, it would seem, go hand in hand. During a routine pre-season blood test, the blood work of five members of the MU men’s basketball team came back clear of all substances. As if this fact wasn’t shocking enough on its own, it was uncovered that the five, all freshmen... MORE »
This week, CBS News reported that *Missouri was the eleventh fattest state* (*Make this a hyperlink to the news story*) in the continental U.S., as well as the entire union. As expected, many state and federal law makers were upset with the unflattering distinction. The number 11 tag shows a continuing, frustrating trend within Missouri:... MORE »
A University of Missouri student faced scrutiny Wednesday after insisting that he is indifferent to losing his hair. Ben Beyer, a junior at MU, claims that he began balding his senior year of high school. After learning that his head was naturally nairing itself, he said that decided to move on and build a life... MORE »
Episode 37: A Dark Wind Approacheth –SCENE 1/ ACT 1– The Scene: Deep within Castle Helgore lay the BEDCHAMBER of the dark PRINCE QUINTOPOLIS. He seeks to bed the vain but noble LADY DUMPINGTON, whose father’s kingdom, Gumtar is the second largest Kingdom of Gom behind only Helgore. Nutella is sweet and delicious. ... MORE »
Every great epic of an amorous partnership has an instance of deep heartbreak and betrayal. Brutus betrayed Cesar to take back the republic of Rome; Eduardo sold out Mark Zuckerberg for a book contract; Road Runner leads Wile E Coyote to yet again plummet upwards of 4,000 feet before producing a massive dust cloud. Just... MORE »
A Mizzou student is undergoing therapy after an emotional breakdown about the warm weather Missouri’s had recently. Freshman Barbara Bumble was admitted into counseling yesterday, sobbing and muttering incoherently about the end of the world. According to a therapist, who wished to remain anonymous for legality reasons, Bumble was tranquilized and sent to the “quiet... MORE »
Winnie the Pooh couldn’t have said it any better, it sure is blustery outside. But soon, little cherubs, anthropomorphic stuffed animals and trees alike will have the joy of a spring day. But outside is only interesting for so long, children! What to do after a long day of dragon chasing and tree climbing in... MORE »
The music industry is a vast uncharted place, filled with complete and utter genius and a large amount of shit. We as a generation control the music that surrounds us, and we have failed to inspire songs that actually have meaning or worthy lyrics in the past decade. The year of 2011 has truly... MORE »
Wash U’s police force, WUPD, reached new levels of strictness on Saturday night, breaking up a one-man party. Fred Fredrickson, a transfer student, was uninformed of WashU’s newly instated “No Fun” policies. The current police state reigning over Wash U’s social circle left Fred alone, confused, but ready to party. “I just didn’t understand why absolutely... MORE »
Dear Girl who Laughs too much in class: I hate you. That’s really all there is to it. The professor is not that funny, and I’m sure he isn’t even flattered at this point. Your laugh is so loud, so obnoxious and nasally, it makes me sick to the stomach, an infectious cacophony of horridness. This isn’t... MORE »
There was a horse-drawn carriage on campus today (it might still be roaming around if you wanna chase it). See the photo for confirmation. I can’t be the only person at WashU wondering what in the world that was doing here. These are my thoughts on what the administration must’ve been thinking when they approved... MORE »
Everyone’s got that girl…she lives in your building, on your floor, is in one of your classes. You see her everywhere and she refuses to acknowledge your existence. Here’s my ode to you. We’ve all got one, in spring through fall,The evil girl from down the hall.She may be short, or maybe tall,The evil girl... MORE »
Apparently, water cups are the new gold. Only some have them, everybody wants them””although you don’t need gold to live”¦so I guess water cups are better. Twelve students were found unconscious this afternoon in Whispers and the Greater Olin Library area due to the new restrictive water-cup policy on campus. Their bodies were resuscitated with... MORE »
With students returning to school frantic for a good time (we all know Christmas Vacation gets quite boring), the commencement of fraternity rush stomps all over the fun WashU students are supposed to be having at the beginning of a new semester. While the workload is still manageable enough for students to explore hedonistic exploits... MORE »
There are plenty of questions that bother Wash U students. We’re a sensitive group. Whether it be confusing Washington University with similarly named state schools, thinking that our athletics are division one or that our social life is hedonistic…it all pisses us off. Here are some of our (least) favorite questions presented to a typical,... MORE »
In my limited experience, intellect has been accompanied by procrastination. Hard workers have wandering minds, a budding curiosity to explore the unknown. Often, hard workers need to take breaks from busting ass with stents of wasted time: hours spent on both obscure and mainstream websites, looking at photos of their friends (for the 100th time”¦),... MORE »
The seconds ticked rapidly towards midnight that evening. It was the eve of one of those devilish Wash U Monday’s when, for some reason, all professors decide to assign something major for the weekend. And there I was, alone, isolated in a top floor library cubicle, diving into analytical essays, while simultaneously reviewing statistical concepts... MORE »
Do you see something off about this photograph? Do you merely recognize some co-eds have a good time, enjoying a pregame before Linus, a large off-campus philanthropic party? Or do you spot something lurking in the back? A strange, slightly upsetting expression. A dark hole of rebellion. It’s THE FACE. Here is my brief,... MORE »