For some
it’s a placeholder, a space filler. For
others, it’s an entity so coveted, so beloved, that addiction is more probable
than possible. No””not cocaine but the
word “like.’ Many consider it Carrot Top-annoying””like
listening to Rick Santorum reason that contraception leads to children being
born out of wedlock. But recently, a
cult-like following has arisen in Ann Arbor and probably the rest of the
country. In fact, the sheer use of “like’
has increased so dramatically that saying it has become a competitive pastime.

Jaw-dropping. That’s the only appropriate way to describe
what occurred in a philosophy discussion section yesterday in Angell Hall. The discussion topics ranged from Descartes
to Aquinas to God’s shoe size. Everything
was going smoothly according to the GSI, Don Doydik, until one girl raised her
hand.

“As a GSI, I try my best to
facilitate participation””ya know, try to avoid that dead air,” Doydik said, scratching his head. “I never thought I’d be a part of
history. I never thought I’d be able to
say, “yeah, I was there for that, and kinda made it happen””crazy right?’” Doydik continued.

Doydik is referring to his student,
Sally Powers, and her astonishing display of 52(!) “likes’ in one 1-hour
discussion. That number obliterates the
previous mark of 43 set by Powers’ sister.
It’s unclear how Powers uttered the word so many times while sustaining
a reasonable level of articulation, but who cares? People don’t question how W. Bush won the
2000 election; they simply revel in the excellence that he stood for. The same should go for Powers.

In an exclusive interview with
Powers, the hero revealed select strategies she used to achieve the amazing accomplishment.

“Like, a good trick I’ve picked up
is to say “like’ before you’ve even said anything,” Powers explained. “It’s usually the least inconspicuous of the
bunch that like get littered throughout, like, whatever it’s you’re like
saying.”

There are some whispers that Powers
will receive an honorary degree in English from the University.

“I’d be like so thankful for that
because then I could like pursue my linguistic passion that like God put me on
this earth to do,” Powers exclaimed,
cracking her knuckles.

Just more evidence in favor of the Michigan Difference.

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