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North Campus Cougar Sighting

Article by NoahBakst

March 27, 2012 at 8:10 pm

I can’t believe the University emailed this. Whether it’s the modern day Mrs. Robinson or Marion Wormer it matters not, if you’re a dude pulling an all nighter at the dude, be careful.

SEE MORE » alcohol, cougars, dps, security

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February 27, 2012

Girl Sets Record with 52 ‘likes’ in One Discussion Section

For some it’s a placeholder, a space filler. For others, it’s an entity so coveted, so beloved, that addiction is more probable than possible. No””not cocaine but the word “like.’ Many consider it Carrot Top-annoying””like listening to Rick Santorum reason that contraception leads to children being born out of wedlock. But recently, a cult-like following... MORE »

March 17, 2012

The Squirrelly Kings of Campus Basement

The King of the University of Michigan campus basement this month, has to be, could be nothing other than, must be declared: the squirrel society of the Ann Arbor area. With this wimpy wisp of a winter nobody has benefited more than the squirrels. After spending months of preparation: finding nuts, hiding nuts, defending nuts,... MORE »

January 26, 2012

Phi-Psi contracted by Obama to work door at Glick Field House

Ann Arbor, Michigan – On Wednesday night thousands of students lined up outside of the Union to have a chance to get a ticket for “Remarks by President Obama,” despite the excruciatingly boring name. While some students couldn’t fathom the existence of times with only three digits (“You mean 17:00 AM, right?), let alone getting... MORE »

February 4, 2012

Blagoevich Caught Trading for Rights to Electric Chair

In a last ditch effort to save his ass, former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagoevich, pulled all the plugs. Prison warden, Joseph Salchicha, has reportedly confirmed that Blagoevich was talking with former-former Governor, George Ryan, about, “getting outta here.” According to the account, Blagoevich has been accused of asking Ryan to “get him on that... MORE »

February 13, 2012

Stop-and-Chat

Walking to class is treacherous. You’re passing through the diag, avoiding the M at all costs of course, and your path is blocked. An old acquaintance, friend, lover, professor, squirrel, group handing out flyers protesting the use of flyers, whatever, it matters not because you have been stopped. The worst part is that you’re not... MORE »

February 7, 2012

Mary Sue Coleman Spotted Raging at SAE, Rick’s

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February 20, 2012

Date Party Gets UGLI

Michelangelo had David, Joe Louis had Joe Louis arena, Dave Brandon had the night game, Mary Sue Coleman: has Slutty with a Study Buddy, at the UGLI. This past Saturday, Sorority Iota Delta Epsilon (IDE) held their winter semester formal at the highly relevant Shapiro Undergraduate Library. Sororities have been competing all year long for optimal positioning... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Cure Your St. Patty’s Day Hangover

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February 9, 2012

Freshman Steps on â€˜M,â€™ Disintegrates

Unless you are an idiot, foreign, or go to Ohio, or some combination of the three, you know that stepping on the “M’ before your first bluebook results in failing said test at UofM. The brass, block-letter “M’, donated by the class of ’53, has scared off more kids than (insert pedophile). Activists have set... MORE »

March 22, 2012

East Quad Rennovation Busts Open

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North Campus Cougar Sighting

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