There are millions of videos on YouTube, with content ranging from laser cats to fail blogs. As college students we have come to love YouTube for allowing us to express ourselves, and also for giving us the opportunity to watch away the
precious hours of our lives watching fat kids falling off of things, shitty cover bands, and undiscovered actors with too much time on their hands. The videos you choose to watch on YouTube say a lot about you, so let’s find out what!
1. Cat Videos: Let’s face it, cats are pretty goddamn cute. Sometimes they make funny noises, jump on and off things, jump off and on things, and sneak up on things too! And because of all the loltastic situations cats get themselves into, it makes sense that there are a shit ton of cat videos on YouTube. However, if you find that more than 40% of your viewed videos were centrally focused on cats iiit’s kind of a problem.
What it says about you: You’re probably going to die alone. You in 30 years: “Pshh, why of course I’m not alone, after all how alone could a person be when they’re living with 17 cats!? (Answer: very)
2. Sketch Comedy Videos: Is your history full of videos like Smosh, Good Neighbor Stuff, KassemG, or Collegehumor? Have you found yourself spending countless hours staring at your screen, clicking link after link of Jake and Amir or Ask Kassem episodes? Videos such as these are perfect for procrastination, and in a group setting they serve as a social lubricant when nobody can think of anything to say.
What it says about you: It says one of two things:1.You desperately wish you had a friend/group of friends who were creative and funny enough to come up with hilarious skits of your own. Instead you’re forced to live vicariously through the lives of the people who actually do have these kinds of friends in real life. 2.You’re supposed to be studying for/writing something important and you just want to watch one more clip”¦*click*”¦ok maybe just one more…
3. How-to Romance Videos: How-to videos are very common on YouTube,
with thousands of people uploading pieces of advice and tips to better yourself
at just about anything. But if you find
that you’ve spent the last four days straight trying to master the art of
“Making Your Move,” then I would highly suggest you read the following paragraph.
What it says about you: It’s time to get off the laptop and start meeting some people in the physical
realm. You’ve obviously either been out of the game too long, or have a crippling fear of interacting with members of
the opposite sex and must be shown step-by-step processes that outline exactly how to act in every possible encounter with someone you find attractive.
4. Your Own Cover Song Videos: So you created a YouTube channel, good for you snowboardsean69! You can’t wait to finally be able to showcase all your God-given talent that you’ve had no choice but to conceal from the public for all this time. The world is surely to take notice of the guitar playing that your friend once called “pretty good,” and the vocals you’re middle school chorus teacher once proclaimed as being “not bad!” No? Hmm, well maybe you just need to share it a few more times on facebook… Still no?? Really, all 37 views were by you, your girlfriend and the 2 other people you physically forced to watch the video?? Bummer.
What it says about you: You haven’t learned to accept the fact that you’re just going to have to go through life like everybody else. No matter how many Jack Johnson songs you learn, at a certain point you’re going to have to get your head out of the clouds and accept your liberal arts degree like a man!
5. Viral Videos: So you just received a link of the newest viral video “Fat Kid Falls Off Diving Board.” You watch the video. You lol. You may even post to Facebook and infect your entire friends list.Then you discover that in the suggested videos column there are literally millions of other similarly labeled fail videos, interspersed with the occasional silly cat video (see Cat Videos) for you to watch. Suddenly you look up with bloodshot eyes to find that you have just spent 4 hours of your life numbing your brain with clip after clip of mildly entertaining slapstick comedy.
What it says about you: You need to GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE. Seriously, put the computer down and do something. If you don’t then you’re going to end up spending the rest of your daysstaring mindlessly at your computer screen until you get just as fat as the kids in the videos you are watching. And then when you finally get up to go get more Mountain Dew from the fridge, you’re going to fall and someone will get it on film. By the time you get back to your computer you will discover that you have become the star of you very own viral video! And then you’ll probably end up marrying the crazy cat lady from before (I guess she isn’t going to die alone after all!).
What it says about you :You’re obviously no stranger to love…