There are millions of videos on YouTube, with content
ranging from laser cats to fail blogs.
As college students we have come to love YouTube for allowing us to
express ourselves, and also for giving us the opportunity to watch away the
precious hours of our lives watching fat kids falling off of things, shitty
cover bands, and undiscovered actors with too much time on their hands. The videos you choose to watch on YouTube say
a lot about you, so let’s find out what!
1.
Cat Videos: Let’s face it, cats are
pretty goddamn cute. Sometimes they make
funny noises, jump on and off things, jump off and on things, and sneak up on
things too! And because of all the
loltastic situations cats get themselves into, it makes sense that there are a
shit ton of cat videos on YouTube.
However, if you find that more than 40% of your viewed videos were
centrally focused on cats iiit’s kind of a problem.
What it says about you: You’re
probably going to die alone. You in 30
years: “Pshh, why of course I’m not alone, after all how alone could a
person be when they’re living with 17 cats!? (Answer: very)
2.
Sketch Comedy Videos: Is your history full of videos like
Smosh, Good Neighbor Stuff, KassemG, or Collegehumor? Have you found yourself spending countless
hours staring at your screen, clicking link after link of Jake and Amir or Ask
Kassem episodes? Videos such as these
are perfect for procrastination, and in a group setting they serve as a social
lubricant when nobody can think of anything to say.
What it says about you: It
says one of two things:1.You desperately wish you had a
friend/group of friends who were creative and funny enough to come up with
hilarious skits of your own. Instead
you’re forced to live vicariously through the lives of the people who actually
do have these kinds of friends in real life.
2.You’re supposed to be studying for/writing something important
and you just want to watch one more clip”¦*click*”¦ok maybe just one more…
3.
How-to Romance Videos: How-to videos are very common on YouTube,
with thousands of people uploading pieces of advice and tips to better yourself
at just about anything. But if you find
that you’ve spent the last four days straight trying to master the art of
“Making Your Move,” then I would highly suggest you read the following paragraph.
What it says about you: It’s
time to get off the laptop and start meeting some people in the physical
realm. You’ve obviously either been out
of the game too long, or have a crippling fear of interacting with members of
the opposite sex and must be shown step-by-step processes that outline exactly
how to act in every possible encounter with someone you find attractive.
4.
Your Own Cover Song Videos: So you
created a YouTube channel, good for you snowboardsean69! You can’t wait to finally be able to showcase
all your God-given talent that you’ve had no choice but to conceal from the
public for all this time. The world is
surely to take notice of the guitar playing that your friend once called
“decent,” and the vocals you’re middle school chorus teacher once proclaimed as
being “pretty good!” No? Hmm, well maybe you just need to add a few
more tags”¦ Still no?? Really, all 37 views were by you, your girlfriend
and the 2 other people you sent the video link to?? Bummer.
What it says about you: You
haven’t learned to accept the fact that you’re just going to have to go through
life like everybody else. No matter how
many Jack Johnson songs you learn, at a certain point you’re going to have to
get your head out of the clouds and accept your liberal arts degree like a man!
5.
Viral Videos: So you just received a link
of the newest viral video “Fat Kid Falls Off Diving Board.” You watch the video. You lol. You may even post to Facebook and infect your
entire friends list.Then you discover that in the suggested videos
column there are literally millions of other similarly labeled fail videos,
interspersed with the occasional silly cat video (see Cat Videos) for you to
watch. Suddenly you look up with
bloodshot eyes to find that you have just spent 4 hours of your life numbing
your brain with clip after clip of mildly entertaining slapstick comedy.
What it says about you: You
need to GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE. Seriously,
put the computer down and dosomething.
If you don’t then you’re going to end up spending the rest of your days
staring mindlessly at your computer screen until you get just as fat as the
kids in the videos you are watching. And
then when you finally get up to go get more Mountain Dew from the fridge,
you’re going to fall”¦and someone will get it on film. By the time you get back to your computer you
will discover that you have become the star of you very own viral video! And then you’ll probably end up marrying the
crazy cat lady from before (I guess she isn’t going to die alone after all!).
6.
The Most Awesome Video in the World!
What it says about you:You’re obviously no stranger to love…
