It’s been years since their appearance, but the original tribe of Poughkeepsie is back, and infuriated. Apparently, Marist College is situated right on land originally owned by the Poughkeepsie tribe.
The tribe is currently in talks with President Murray regarding transfer of ownership and legality of using the land.
A Marist spokesperson explained, “Well apparently, they seem to have been here first. But, I say they practically gave the land to us when they up and left years ago. Yet, they keep retorting, ‘Don’t be an indian giver! Don’t be an indian giver!’”
RedFoxMyCampus has the exclusive list of demands the Poughkeepsie tribe is commanding:
1. The student center will be turned into a casino, and all students must attend regularly from 8 PM to 10 PM daily.
2. The Dyson Center will be hence be referred to as “White Man Running with Money.”
3. Thanksgiving will be turned into a day of remembrance.
4. Students must learn to use a bow and arrow.
Although President Murray seems fairly perplexed regarding the whole situation, the Poughkeepsie tribe holds tight to their demands. Until the dispute gets settled, the Poughkeepsie tribe will be squatting at the local McDonalds across the street.