Holy semester! Besides
raging face every night, recovering from raging face every morning, and the
occasional 4′o’clock, Lehigh practically turned into a survival reality TV show
this semester. Hopefully you made it through relatively unscathed, but if you
didn’t, sucks to suck. Here’s a recap:

Everyone’s happy to be
back at school after their shitty summer job, and welcome week quickly turns
into a shit show. And by shit show, I mean the weather. Hurricane Irene cut the
weekend short by a day, and if you were as lucky as I was your house lost power
for an extended period of time (FORESHADOWING). And I thought hurricane season
was over”¦

Bethlehem police: go fuck
yourself. I personally witnessed a freshmen get his collarbone broken from
getting tackled to the ground for smoking a “marijuana cigarette.” Turns out it
was just a cigarette, asshole.

We all felt the effects of
the dry spell that swept the campus after those casual drug raids took place. I
will refrain from making any further comment to avoid incriminating myself or
the names of the 30+ people included
in the investigation. I’m sorry, but that’s just impressive from a student
standpoint.

Two years ago Lehigh had
its first snow day in something ridiculous like 20 years. Last year we had
another. This year we were evacuated”¦ in October. I’m not complaining because
we missed 3 days of class, but losing power again
meant no internet, which meant no Facebook stalking, so life seized to exist.

The “gitis struck fear in the hearts of us all. Mainly because everyone just assumed they
came into contact with the victims since they couldn’t remember anything from
the week that was Lehigh-Laf.

You had the time of your
life at Dayglow or you thought it was fucking terrible. Either way, it was
probably the first and last time anything remotely cool comes to Lehigh besides
a Tony Bennett concert. Oh yeah, and 40 kids went to the hospital for ”alcohol” and drug abuse.

Not exactly your average
semester at Lehigh, but at least it was interesting. And I think the craziest
part about everything that happened this semester is that we were actually able
to remember any of it, so for that we should be thankful. Hope everyone has a
good “I’m going to be less slutty this year” day!

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