Now that your parents finally know how hard
Lehigh goes because of the fiasco that was Dayglow, they are undoubtedly
annoying the shit out of you about how your grades must be, especially with
whatever those tests are coming up that everyone seems to be talking about.

Only Lehigh would have as big a drug market
for prescription study pills as it does for stinky greens. We are a top ranked
university, aren’t we? How else do you expect people to blackout every night
and pass all their classes? Sure we’re the shit, but we’re not fucking

So when you’ve been at the
library for the last 10 hours and have only managed to eat half a bag of
pretzels, remember it is the price you pay for having more fun than anyone else
you know.