Bethlehem, PA – Last night thousands of students gathered on the UC front lawn for what was apparently some kind of pro-Men’s rights demonstration. Men from all across campus removed and subsequently burned their clothing as a means of symbolically casting off the chains of what they believe to be a female tyranny.
There was a strong spirit of camaraderie among the crowd. Many shirtless protestors were seen chest bumping and hugging one another. They jumped up and down in rhythm, acting as one and showing that men would no longer be divided.
Joyous chants of “Let’s get weird!” and “U S A! U S A!” could be heard throughout the night. One man, wearing only his underwear and an American flag bandanna, climbed to the top of the UC flagpole’s base and shouted “We did it guys! We did it!” He looked to be in tears as he showered the crowd in beer.
When the first men began burning their clothing, others eagerly joined in. Shirts, pants, cowboy hats; all of them were deemed to be tools of the female agenda. Some men joined hands and sang hymns around the burning effigy.
Police, powerless to stop the demonstration but fearful of it becoming violent, tried to intervene. However, upon learning of the anti-feminist message of the protest, they allowed it to proceed.
“I assumed this had something to do with the basketball game,” said one police officer, referring to Lehigh basketball’s historic upset over Duke, which had taken place just minutes earlier. “Once I learned that these guys are all pro-dudes, I knew I had to just let it happen. I’d be burning my uniform right now if it wasn’t so damn expensive.” No female police officers were present.
The police officers were not the only ones who assumed the event was in honor of Lehigh’s win. A crowd of basketball fans joined the mob and began chanting “Suck my Duke!” Suffice it to say, they were misheard. The reaction from the crowd compelled them to find another place to celebrate.
The movement spread even to the streets of South Bethlehem, where, based on the gender ratio this reporter observed, numerous bars were holding “Men’s Night” events.
There were even some women who had come out to support the Men’s cause. While none of them burned their clothes, some did participate in the chanting while others cowered near the back looking fearful. “This is like, crazy,” said an unnamed sorority girl.
Lehigh plays Xavier at 7:45 p.m., Sunday, March 18th on truTV. Let’s fucking go!!