heights, we, college students, find ourselves with new definitions to the word “friend.”
Facebook, the devil’s advocate, allows us to have “friends” we have never met
before. Oh look, a random person friend requested me. Cool, I should defiantly accept
them so they can stalk every detail about my life. This thought process is not
in the least concerning.
It all begins with that moment as your MacBook opens up a
window browser (don’t deny it, we all know Facebook is your homepage). It’s the
adrenaline rush you receive as you see a beautiful, red number one hanging above
the outline of a blue man on the upper left hand side of your screen that puts
that smile on your face. You then, distracted by feelings of popularity, glance
at the name of the individual that friend requested and forget to be creeped
out by the fact that not only do you not know Mr. We both go to Hofstra so I friend
requested you, but you also don’t have any mutual friends. So they don’t know
you, they aren’t friends with anyone you know, their profile picture is of a PokÃ©mon
Character, their music interests are Rebecca Black and Justin Beiber, BUT you
both go to Hofstra. Oh ok. Accept.
An hour into your budding relationship they set a status””your
favorite lyrics to be exact. You like it without fully comprehending that you don’t
know this random person. They politely like your status in return. You have officially
had a cyber-hand shake.
When the next day rolls around, and you are running late to
your exponentially early class, beginning at 10:10 (no judgment, mornings are
Hell) that is when you spot them, the “friend” from the day prior on the
Unispan. You know one hundred percent its them. That may or may not be because
you spent a half an hour stalking their page.
You panic, your palms get sweaty, your heart rate increases,
although that might just be because of the mountain like incline of the Unispan,
and you reason with yourself. Should you wave? No, too soon. Smile? Now you
just look desperate. You shuffle through your choices and pick the most logical
of the bunch. You quickly remove your phone from your pocket and begin texting
a non-existent person, as if you have no idea that your “friend” is walking straight
towards you. The fact that you and your “friend” bluntly made eye contact does
not make the situation any easier.
This one is for you my “friend.” We will
remain Facebook friends, because I like you. I just don’t like you enough to be
friends outside of the cyber world. Signing off.