“You only live once, that’s the motto n***a YOLO.” When Drake uttered those words in the studio, I doubt he knew the impact he would have on the world. YOLO can be spotted everywhere nowadays. On Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and even on Zac Efron’s hand. But now the Degrassi alum is taking YOLO to a whole new level.
In major cities across the country, Drake is opening a line of luxurious hotels called, what else but, YOTELs. I was able to talk to the “rapper” before the red carpet. When asked why he decided to open a line of hotels he simply replied, “YOLO.” (What else was I expecting?) I asked him how he felt about the grand opening and he just said, “25 sitting on 25 mil.” Since all Drake could do was quote his own lyrics, I figured I would just take the tour and leave him be.
There is a gold fountain in the middle of the lobby that spews Rozay for customers. The elevators are also gold and when you press the button to call the elevator, it either makes a Rick Ross grunt or says, “MAMAMAMA – Maybach Music”, as a friendly shoutout to his frequent collaborator and Black Santa Claus look-a-like, Rick Ross. The first 100 guests to have a two night stay got YMCMBMM shirts! When I walked through the door, the doorman greeted me with an unrecognizable gang sign and said politely, “YMCMBMM we rich forever! Please enjoy your stay.” The rooms were decadent to say the least. Everything in the room was a different shade of gold, brown, and green. The beds were canopy style and could probably fit 15 comfortably. A walk out onto the balcony reveals a beautiful view of the city. The towels, robes, and shower caps in the bathroom have Drake’s face on them. Naturally, the toilet paper looks like one hundred dollar bills. If a guest can’t fall asleep, they can call room service to serenade them with an acapela version of Marvin’s Room. If you haven’t heard Marvin’s Room acapela, then you simply aren’t living. There is a rooftop pool and a place to get your money cleaned while you eat. And if that wasn’t enough, the entire hotel dances to The Motto every hour, on the hour. If everyone in the hotel doesn’t yell Lil Wayne’s, “TUNECHI!”, at the end of the song, you will promptly removed from the premises, as I learned the hard way.
Folks, I’d say you save the $100,000 it costs to stay one night at this hotel and enjoy yourselves. Who knows, you might even see Drake himself! He can be seen wandering aimlessly around the hotel in a Cosby sweater, wearing 14 skinny gold chains, and quietly asking people if they like him. You need to experience this hotel. After all, you only live once.