Last night the Inter-fraternity Council of the University of Florida honored Sigma Phi Epsilon with the George W. Bush Courage Award for its latest run in with the law.

On March 14th 3 members of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity known colloquially as “Sig Ep” attempted to borrow $600 dollars worth of plastic sheets from a Home Depot for a party that weekend, where boys and girls gather to kiss. Unfortunately they were stopped by a security guard and the store manager. It goes without saying that both of them are GDI’s but I thought I would mention it anyways.

In my interview about the matter with the Associate Director of IFC,  he indicated that the council was very impressed with Sig Ep’s brass balls and brotherhood. “First they tried to do something illegal for a party where they will probably serve alcohol to minors and then they act like they didn’t know anything about it. That’s just fratty as f#$k.” He went on to say that the Home Depot incident is what greek life is all about. “We at IFC have established a deep seeded fraternity culture of not only getting around the rules but also breaking them outright. When a fraternity applies this lesson to the outside world we like to recognize it. And that is what we are trying to do with this award.”

Some were outraged with the decision and thought that Sigma Phi Epsilon should be punished. But you have to keep in mind that most of the dissent came from GDI’s and from the lower tier Greek Community. So what I am trying to say is, literally no one gives a shit.

The Panhellenic Council stood by IFC’s award and disagreed strongly with the dissent. A program director for the council was quoted as saying, “Like, if Sig Ep is punished where will all of the extra top-tier girls go to have a good time? Beta? Like, I don’t want to live in that world. That shit would be gay. Like, seriously they’re gay.”

In reaction to the program’s director comments a member of Beta Theta Pi responded  “ We have a really nice house.”