This weekend Cornell’s own Dr. Stephen Knight attended a local human bonding and biology conference where the esteemed professor touted his laboratory’s most recent discovery: “Sex Feels Good”. 

     The world renown scientist and nobel laureate studied human physiology in conjunction with psychological profiles to gauge whether sex provided young men and women with any physical pleasure. 

     The results yielded a discovery few would have ever expected: sex apparently provides its engagers with both pleasure and enjoyment.

     The professor who has studied human genetics for over twenty five years stated, “Sex feels really good”. He explained that sex releases endorphins and how “it feels nice when the penis goes in the vagina part”. 

     He described that during sex “the penis goes in and out of the vagina and it feels good, like really good”. 

     Knight explained that “at first we were scared of the pussy” he explained that “its wet” and “babies come from there” however “it felt good to put our penises inside of them”. 

     While Knights conclusions are astounding, the professor himself admitted the uncertainty he and his colleagues face when confronting the female anatomy. Knight has gone on record stating “we don’t really know how  penises or vaginas work, personally, I just need to put my penis in more vaginas to learn more”.

   Knight is currently studying the effects of semen on the the female epidermis, he is working on his fourth book titled “Ejaculating on a woman’s face can be fun.”