Denice Cassaro Drunk Emails Freshmen; Students Actually Read Them

Article by Jonfen April 24, 2012

Early Sunday morning, Denice Cassaro sent a slew of inflammatory and stream-of-consciousness emails to the Cornell Community.  In these messages, she insulted various student groups, boasted about her sexual conquests, and reflected upon her purpose in life, all in her trademark colorful writing style. Her first e-mail, sent at 2:33am, read as follows: *******Mah-Jong and... MORE »

Article by apost
April 23, 2012

No Spring Maintenance….

After last Friday’s 85-degree weather, it appears that Cornell University has used all of its spring maintenance funding on  keeping the Lake Effects snow out of the forecast, not accounting for the shocking, yet annual, mid-April snow and sleet storm. While on a campus tour this morning, a pre-frosh was overheard stating “well, it can... MORE »

Article by maxmartinez
April 21, 2012

New Women’s Dorm Named After Psychology Professor

Cornell recently announced that a new women’s dorm, similar to Balch Hall, will be built in 2013 to accommodate the increasing amount of women attending the university. Half of the intramural fields are being zoned off for construction and they plan to break ground in June of 2013. The university would not release the name... MORE »

Article by jambrand08
April 18, 2012

3 Policies Cornell Should Adopt Right Now

  As I’ve not so subtly pointed out before, I personally believe that some of the University’s recently approved policies may have been thrown together just a bit quickly in an attempt to make the administration appear more responsible or relevant, without a ton of thought given to the actual problems at hand. For example,... MORE »

Article by G-Nonymous
April 13, 2012

Dobby the House Elf Will Hold Town-Hall Forum at Lynah Rink

Dobby the House Elf, the magical creature from the Harry Potter franchise whose cuteness and silly way of talking has drawn the adoration of college student nationwide, will speak at Cornell’s Lynah Rink on April 19, according to Cornell House-Elf Liberation Front Chair Seamus Shacklebolt, ’13. Dobby is planning to attend rallies on 30 college... MORE »

Poll by apost
April 10, 2012

Hunger Games At Cornell: Which College Will Win?

Ezra Cornell was actually a pretty twisted President. When he founded Cornell he also said that at the 147th (arbitrary number chosen similar practice done by the Mayans for their calendars) Commencement, rather than have the standard “all rise and all sit, congratulations you’ve graduated” at the ceremony, all 4 state colleges will have a... MORE »

Article by G-Nonymous
April 9, 2012

Amanda Bynes Arrested for DUI

According to Cornell Law Professor Gold, at the close of the trial the dancing lobsters were brought in. MORE »

Article by apost
April 9, 2012

Cornell University Hides Oprah

What some people thought was an April Fools joke at Cornell University was actually reality! Oprah was at Cornell. But, how did nobody know about her arrival, her stay or her departure? If anyone could pull off a magic trick like this it is David Blaine. Yes, Cornellians that is right. Cornell Administrators paid David... MORE »