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You’re Not the Only One Unhappy About Nelly…

Video by jwoww

April 24, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Whoever made this is my hero. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do about not being able to properly grind with drunk and sloppy frat bros to the slow paced beat of “Grillz.” Props to you, BigRedBearz!

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Mayfest: Walnut Park vs. Euclid Avenue ►

November 9, 2010

Students Ask For More Easy A Classes

At an institution like Cornell, students may find it difficult to take a course with minimal work and a high class average. Every semester, there are students who sit for hours on Schedulizer trying to find that one “Easy A” course that can make up for their marginal grades in classes like Orgo and Multivariate... MORE »

September 6, 2011

Rain Returns to Ithaca; Freshman Has First of Many Mental Breakdowns

This poor lil’ guy was found sitting in the middle of College Ave this past Sunday as the rain poured down and everyone in Ithaca resumed hating their lives and questioning why they ever came here in the first place. As told by an eyewitness who asked if the emo sitter was alright, “he said... MORE »

November 26, 2011

Big Red Hot Hockey Storms MSG – And Your News Feed?

Tonight is the Big Red Hot Hockey game that takes place every other year against BU at MSG. In the next few hours your news feeds are going to start blowing up about about the game. Examples of statuses you will see: 1. “At MSG go Big Red” 2. “Let’s go Cornell!” 3. “I’m in... MORE »

June 3, 2012 1 Comment

Student Suspended for Getting Professor, Entire Class High

The end of the school year is always a great time, from not having work to cupcake parties with your professors, it’s always a happy moment. Unfortunately, there is always that one person that just takes it too far and screws everyone else over. In this case, that guy is junior Martin Solscribe. On Thursday,... MORE »

November 4, 2011

Cornell Student Discovers DC++, Disappears From Face of Earth

John Jacobs used to be a mild-mannered Cornell freshman. He went to class, avoided trouble with school, and used condoms regularly. However, one day he had a problem set due and could not find a computer with MATLAB to use to finish his work. Just when he thought he was out of luck, one of... MORE »

October 16, 2010

The Perfect Match

Too hot for closed toed shoes AND a jacket? Too cold for just a sweater and flip-flops? This wise Cornellian has found the combination to master Ithaca weather. MORE »

November 16, 2010

Cornell opens new school at Cornell

With the closing of the education department at Cornell due to lack of funding and a surge of retirees Cornell is now creating the department of the redundancy department in the ILR School thanks to money acquired after the education department was removed. Education professors are not upset with the new school. They are actually... MORE »

December 21, 2010

Facebook to re-invent Microsoft Word Paperclip

We all remember Clippit, don’t we? Well, if you don’t maybe this will job your memory….Clippit was our good friend from Microsoft word who used to pop up at the most convenient times to give us helpful hints about what we were doing. Mark Zuckerberg remembers Clippit. He is now trying to bring a version... MORE »

December 17, 2011

In Epic Showdown in NYC, Big Red Bear tears down Stanford Tree

UPDATE: After a short and brief skirmish this past weekend, Cornell has taken out the rest of its competitors and won the fight. NEW YORK, NY ““ Millions of New Yorkers watched in awe this past Friday as the Big Red Bear tore down the Stanford Tree in an epic battle raging on Roosevelt Island.... MORE »

November 15, 2011

Cornell Engineers Design New Ball Sac

Jon Stewart made a joke about how poorly designed the male testicles are. Referring to how man is made in God’s own image he said, “Why would he take all our nerve endings and place them in a little sac that dangles outside of our bodies easily exposed to…tap (makes nut tapping noise)? Although intended as... MORE »

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