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Cornell Pledges are Sexy And They Know It

Video by Jonfen

February 16, 2012 at 11:59 pm

AEPi pledges serenade sororities with a junk-jiggling rendition of LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It.” (at 2:09)

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February 26, 2012

Formal Rejection

Ouch. MORE »

January 24, 2012

With New IFC Regulations, Rush Week Drinking Shifts to Sororities

In a slightly surprising turn of events, numerous sororities on campus were reported to have served hard alcohol and drugs at their rush week recruitment events. While fraternities were busy with their Dry Rush Week, or “3 Day Rush-apallooza” as the IFC now requires it be called, sororities and their PNM’s raged on into the... MORE »

December 5, 2011

Formal Season 2011: This is how I’ll die, isn’t it?

What’s your favorite time of year…Christmas or Wedding Season? Formal Season! That’s right fellow Cornellians, it is that time of the semester where you have nothing to do because classes are over and study week has yet to begin. It’s the best time of the year. Get all fancy in your dress or your shirt... MORE »

November 7, 2011

Recent Study Finds Cornell Cool Complex (CCC) Begins in Sophomore Year

The CCC has been speculated about amongst social scientists at Cornell University for many years. Until now the complex has never been able to be understood or analyzed seeing as the onset has been unclear. No longer do we have to merely hypothesize! “There seems to be an existing trend in some of the undergraduate... MORE »

October 9, 2011

Panhel Reveals Phi Sigma Sigma Hires Outside University Students

In the past few weeks there have been numerous sightings of a new sorority all around Cornell’s campus. They have bags, they have sweatshirts and they even have a table at Ho Plaza. These girls are everywhere. But, where did they come from? Just yesterday a Panhelenic representative revealed that these girls are not just... MORE »

October 3, 2011

Greeks Eliminate Rush Week: Replaced with Binge Drinking and Smoking Tons of Illegal Drugs Week

The Interfraternity Council, last Wednesday, approved an altered rush week schedule. “With tensions growing toward the Greek Community, these changes came just in time,” stated Travis Apgar, Associate Dean of Students. In the past, Rush week traditionally involved daytime open houses known as “smokers,” leaving only enough room in the evening to engage in... MORE »

February 9, 2011

A Closer Look Inside the Mind of a Cornell Sorority Girl – WARNING: MAY BE DISTURBING FOR SOME READERS

*******What are you about to read is the actual day-long thought process of a young Cornellian woman who is actively involved in her greek chapter. All names have been changed to protect the identities of all those involved. What you are about to read may be disturbing to some readers, so we apologize in advance... MORE »

January 13, 2012

You’ve Done it Again. RIP Palms O’Clock.

Dear Cornell, Thank you. Sincerely, Graduating seniors and recent alums Yes, we thank you for all the hard work you have put in, to make us want to leave your campus, and be okay with the fact that our jobs are so competitive and demanding that we are unable to make the trip to come... MORE »

December 5, 2011

Big Red Hockey v. Clarkson; Cornell Can’t Get It In

This article is the first in a potential series detailing the Cornell hockey games from the perspective of a huge Cornell hockey fan who also enjoys humor. This Saturday night I sat in the press box with fellow CB writer apost (who knows nothing about hockey as you will soon see) and detailed the game.... MORE »

April 28, 2011

I’m Abroad….Don’t Call Me

Let’s say hypothetically speaking your name starts with an A. You are used to getting butt dialed at this point in your life seeing as I’m sure you’ve had a cell phone since middle school. But, once you go abroad getting butt dialed has a whole new meaning. And mostly it has to do with... MORE »

April 24, 2012

Denice Cassaro Drunk Emails Freshmen; Students Actually Read Them

Early Sunday morning, Denice Cassaro sent a slew of inflammatory and stream-of-consciousness emails to the Cornell Community. In these messages, she insulted various student groups, boasted about her sexual conquests, and reflected upon her purpose in life, all in her trademark colorful writing style. Her first e-mail, sent at 2:33am, read as follows: *******Mah-Jong and... MORE »

March 17, 2012

Promiscuous Daily Sun Photographer Catalogues 161 O-Faces of Cornell

In a special feature of Monday’s Daily Sun, libidinous Sun photographer Stephanie Adams ’13 unveiled a year-long project in which she captured the euphoric faces of 161 Cornell men and women mid-orgasm, and then edited the photos into black and white. The 4-page long spread encapsulates the diversity of the Cornell study body, through its... MORE »

February 27, 2012

Frat Star Denied Entry Into “Bro-Zone;” Remains in “Friend Zone”

On Friday afternoon, a love struck frat social chair Connor Stokley ’14 confronted dreamy fraternity brother Steve Sanchez ’14 and asked if he would like to bro out with him on Saturday night. “I know this cute, little bar by the Commons that we can go to,” said the oblivious Stokley. “They’ve got the hottest,... MORE »

February 12, 2012

“I Got Sooo Drunk Last Night,” Report Nation’s Future Leaders

On Sunday morning, numerous first-hand accounts revealed that a substantial percentage of America’s soon-to-be luminaries were severely intoxicated and self-incapacitated on the preceding evening. “Man, I was fucked up last night,” said future New York State Senator David Adelsberg ’12, “This hangover is killing me!” “My futon is covered in puke,” added the future Congressman.... MORE »

February 2, 2012

Giants v. Patriots: Keys to the Game

Giants -I hear Peyton Manning’s recovered. Get him to play quarterback. Eli’s jersey doesn’t specify which Manning needs to play. -Remind Ahmad Bradshaw that even though he plays for the Giants, the other team will be the same size. -Try the Fumblerooski. This will pay out tremendously. For me. I made a certain, little bet... MORE »

January 24, 2012

Justin Bieber Not Coming to Cornell, But Guess Who Is?

End of the World? Snow in Ithaca This Summer

Cornell University Invaded by Extraterrestrial Lifeforms From Planet Q580 in Quadrant X

Cornell Bans Smoking on Campus for Fall 2012

Janet Reno ’60 to Speak on Marijuana Rights Thursday

Cornell Pledges are Sexy And They Know It

Denice Cassaro Drunk Emails Freshmen; Students Actually Read Them

Promiscuous Daily Sun Photographer Catalogues 161 O-Faces of Cornell

Frat Star Denied Entry Into “Bro-Zone;” Remains in “Friend Zone”

“I Got Sooo Drunk Last Night,” Report Nation’s Future Leaders

Giants v. Patriots: Keys to the Game

With New IFC Regulations, Rush Week Drinking Shifts to Sororities

Syracuse is an Amazing Party School and here’s why

This Year At SU I Learned (by the Cuse Basement Staff)

Disappearing Dorm Room

Interview with the BEST DJ at Syracuse

Syracuse Sexy and I Know It

Hold the Pulp Season Finale

I’m a JIM: A Tribute to Jets Islanders Mets Fans

MUSketch performs _____ in Paris

Cuse is CRAY (N****s in Paris Parody)

New Music Video: Cuse Life

I didn’t know Otto had moves like Jagger

Young Group of Visiting Explore! Students “Startled” by Showing of Sorority Pride

How To Deliver a Speech at Speaker’s Circle: God Hates The Seattle Supersonics

Hold the Pulp

Call Ramapo, Maybe

Jake’s Movie Monday: One Fan’s One Shining Moment

Mayor Bloomberg Professes Love to Cornell in Song and Dance:

Syracuse Basketball Team Sings “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen

Four SU Students Sing “Call Me Maybe”

Real Syracuse University Thefts Caught on Camera!

Frat Party Music 20 Years Ago

Jake’s Movie Monday: Twittervention

The Awareness 2012 Campaign: Are You Aware?

Sh*t Brandeis Students Don’t Say Part 2

Jake’s Movie Monday: Mizzou Basement Promo

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