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Transfer Pride: I used to go to Maryland
I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann.....at UMD they have Club McKeldin. Enjoy.....
With finals over and school done until August, Cornell students are excited. For sophomore government major Frankie Howard, excited is an understatement. On Friday, May 18th, Howard allegedly brought his laptop and speakers, along with a Grey Goose bottle, a Red Bull, and a flask filled with whiskey, into the basement of Olin Library and... MORE »
Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »
Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »
In attempt to attract more students to the library and to reduce student stress during finals week, Mann library converted all of its rarely-used study rooms into sex rooms. This initiative was sponsored by Cornell CARES, and proved to be a major hit over the course of study week. “Hardly anybody would ever rent out... MORE »
As finals week progresses Cornell Administrative staff wish all of the students a safe and healthy experience. Walking to Mann today it was difficult NOT to notice the giant blown-up condoms coming out of Warren Hall. Let it be a reminder to us all on this fine day: you’re super horny, but you’re in the... MORE »
ITHACA, NY””If you are anywhere near a college campus right now, be prepared. The long-hyped up invasion of fictitious soulless corpses has indeed occurred; lifeless college students are attacking us. It is still very unclear as to how these zombies were even created. According to sober observation, a chemical weapon was not unleashed and a... MORE »
It’s 8AM the Saturday before finals and Olin isn’t open so you study on the roof attempting not to freeze your ass off. It’s 12PM and you spend 30 minutes on the phone with Expedia.com because your flight home has changed and they send you an email telling you to call them immediately, but only... MORE »
Recently an anonymous male was found running around Olin exposing himself to females and shocking them to the point of tears. CampusBasement investigative reporter Jenna Til-Warts had an exclusive interview with the famous flasher. She pried into the mind of the psychopath in an attempt to figure out what the roots of his problems were. ... MORE »
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