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Flowchart: How Should You Study For Finals?
Somewhere in between the wigs, hats, and jockstraps in the back of her closet, Lady Gaga once coined the term ‘paper gangster’. A paper gangster is defined by Urban Dictionary as a bulls*** fake wanna-be who tries to be ghetto, thinks he/she is from the streets, and is a punk-ass mother****** who should be listening... MORE »
With finals over and school done until August, Cornell students are excited. For sophomore government major Frankie Howard, excited is an understatement. On Friday, May 18th, Howard allegedly brought his laptop and speakers, along with a Grey Goose bottle, a Red Bull, and a flask filled with whiskey, into the basement of Olin Library and... MORE »
Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »
Do you often feel overwhelmed because you are taking too many credits? Do you just go to other classes to just acquire more knowledge? No, I’m pretty sure you and I both don’t. That isn’t the case with junior Megan Kim of the engineering school, who was suspended from Cornell for attending too many classes... MORE »
Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »
Upon checking his course grades on student center, freshman Phineas Plottman expressed tempered joy and mild exuberance over the fact that his semester spent not fornicating with members of the opposite sex, culminated in a 4.0 GPA. “Oh my gosh, this feeling is so amazing,” said Plottman meekly, “definitely more satisfying than repeatedly thrusting my... MORE »
In attempt to attract more students to the library and to reduce student stress during finals week, Mann library converted all of its rarely-used study rooms into sex rooms. This initiative was sponsored by Cornell CARES, and proved to be a major hit over the course of study week. “Hardly anybody would ever rent out... MORE »
I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann…..at UMD... MORE »
As finals week progresses Cornell Administrative staff wish all of the students a safe and healthy experience. Walking to Mann today it was difficult NOT to notice the giant blown-up condoms coming out of Warren Hall. Let it be a reminder to us all on this fine day: you’re super horny, but you’re in the... MORE »