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Why You Do Not Want Gandalf As Your Organic Chemistry Professor
Student Bombs Orgo Final: Thirteen Dead and Four Left Wounded.
Investigation pending. MORE »
Cornell Football Sucks
Last year I went to one Cornell home football game. It was homecoming so I don’t remember much, but what I do remember was that the cheerleaders were far more entertaining. I left the game after what I would say was probably five or ten minutes right about the time when the opposing team, Fordham... MORE »
Our New Year’s Resolutions 2012 (Cornell)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite!Having reflected upon the past year we here at Cornell Campus Basement have realized we’ve done some really bad things. Like, we’ve made really some awful decisions. ... MORE »
Skorton Caught Speeding
University President David Skorton was stopped earlier today on East Avenue after blowing a stop sign whilst driving at a speed of 50 MPH, over double the campus speed limit of 50 MPH. Rather than calmly handling to the situation, Skorton could be seen belligerently shouting at Campus Police for over 15 minutes, yelling phrases... MORE »
Happy Holidays With Love from Cornell…and Apparently the Clock Tower
Oh and for Caption ideas…. Happy Holidays from Cornell and Frosty the Snowman who wishes you “Happy Holidays and hey can you help me get this thing out of my butt?” MORE »
Finals Drives Student Directy Through Glass Door
Never before has Olin Library, or Cornell for that matter seen anything like this before! Finals week comes with its fair share of crazy, but this shit is just silly….I thought the Orgo final already happened? Nonetheless, this is a real image and the made-up story goes as follows: Once upon a time there was... MORE »
Ithaca is Gorges No More
Due to the recent uproar on the part of both students and faculty President Skorton has finally decided to take down the fences. In place of the infamous fences Skorton has made the executive decision to fill in the gorges. Requests are now being taken to decide what the gorges should be filled with. Might... MORE »
Formal Season 2011: This is how I’ll die, isn’t it?
What’s your favorite time of year…Christmas or Wedding Season? Formal Season! That’s right fellow Cornellians, it is that time of the semester where you have nothing to do because classes are over and study week has yet to begin. It’s the best time of the year. Get all fancy in your dress or your shirt... MORE »
D-List Frat Plans a Mixer With A-List Sorority
No one shows up. MORE »
Who You Gonna Call? BILL MURRAY!
Over Fall Break Cornell is a ghost town. The only people on campus are athletes and townies. The Cornell Big Red Marching Band desperate for some attention called on the only man they knew would answer their call….Bill Murray? Apparently Billy Murray is still there to answer the Ghostbusters’ hot line. Check out the SNL... MORE »
My Winter Break Movie Guidelines
If you’re like me then your winter break has been jam packed with movies, and if you’re Jewish like me then these aren’t movies that you’ve paid for. I put more effort into researching a movie I might have to pay to see in theatres than I’ve put into my thesis. First, I check RottenTomatoes.com... MORE »
What I Think About During My Nutrition Lectures
….so the quality of my work has taken a hit, but my A.D.D is alive and well! MORE »
Smart vs Attractive
you will never win MORE »
Let’s Hear It For The Sluts!
It’s the Christmas of college: Halloween weekend. Halloween was once known to all of us, in a much more innocent time, as the night where we dressed up as our favorite superhero and ate as much candy as our tiny tummy’s could hold before we puked. But now that we’re much older and wiser Halloween... MORE »