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Fratstar’s Valentine’s Day Letter
Frat Star Denied Entry Into “Bro-Zone;” Remains in “Friend Zone”
On Friday afternoon, a love struck frat social chair Connor Stokley ’14 confronted dreamy fraternity brother Steve Sanchez ’14 and asked if he would like to bro out with him on Saturday night. “I know this cute, little bar by the Commons that we can go to,” said the oblivious Stokley. “They’ve got the hottest,... MORE »
Formal Rejection
Ouch. MORE »
Incidences of Hypothermia Increase Due to Lack of Alcohol During Pledging
Even though, in recent weeks, the weather in Ithaca has been unseasonably warm, because of lack of alcohol during pledging students have found themselves feeling like a foreigner….cold as ice (to any 80s music fans out there). “I used to wear a liquor jacket out ever night. Now I’m freezing outside because I can actually... MORE »
The Giants v. The 49ers: From a Guy Who Doesn’t Know About Sports
So you’re probably thinking, why don’t I know anything about sports? I am a guy and I want to join a frat. Not the typical stereotype now, am I? Yeah, breaking barriers! Anyway, I played sports when I was a kid. Standard, Little League and soccer where everyone runs around chasing the ball and there... MORE »
#RushWeek2012
Disclaimer: The frat you join in no way reflects your sexual orientation. Unless you’re a GDI in which case you are most definitely “a gay.” MORE »
Formal Season 2011: This is how I’ll die, isn’t it?
What’s your favorite time of year…Christmas or Wedding Season? Formal Season! That’s right fellow Cornellians, it is that time of the semester where you have nothing to do because classes are over and study week has yet to begin. It’s the best time of the year. Get all fancy in your dress or your shirt... MORE »
Olin Stacks Flasher Finds True Love at Jewish Speed Dating
Recently an anonymous male was found running around Olin exposing himself to females and shocking them to the point of tears. CampusBasement investigative reporter Jenna Til-Warts had an exclusive interview with the famous flasher. She pried into the mind of the psychopath in an attempt to figure out what the roots of his problems were. ... MORE »
You know you go to Cornell when….
As we all know Cornell Fraternity parties used to exist. When they did they used to have to have sober monitors who wore bright yellowish green shirts to let everyone know who they were. They became really popular and quite hilarious to wear when you were wasted. This shirt though tops it all. Wear it... MORE »
In New Policy, Skorton Puts George Orwell “Obey” Stickers on Every Frat Party ID Scanner
NORTH CAMPUS – In what he calls a “friendly reminder to freshmen that we’re watching their every move,” Cornell University President David Skorton has instituted a new policy that requires every ID scanner used at frat parties to bear an “Obey” sticker from George Orwell’s classic novel, 1984. “You see, every time you put... MORE »
Cornell Freshman Goes on 12 Hour Crime Spree
On Tuesday, a man reached headlines around the country after allegedly committing 11 felonies in 9 hours. William Todd, a Kentucky native, managed a night of so much epic criminal absurdity that he even gave The Hangover films a run for their money. His story can be closer followed here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/10/william-todd-crime-spree_n_1415407.html However, with every great “mastermind”... MORE »
Janet Reno ’60 to Speak on Marijuana Rights Thursday
Former Attorney General of the United States and member of the Cornell class of 1960, Janet Reno is making her way back to Ithaca on Thursday. With the election 6 months away and lots of hot issues at hand, Reno wanted to come back and speak with current students about an issue that has been... MORE »
Cornell Bans Smoking on Campus for Fall 2012
For some people, there’s nothing like taking a quick cigarette break in between a class or during a timeout from an intense study session in the library. Unfortunately, the next time that craving hits you, you’ll have to walk to Collegetown to do it. This morning President David J. Skorton announced that the administration voted... MORE »
End of the World? Snow in Ithaca This Summer
From tsunamis to tornadoes to hurricanes to oil spills, Earth has been experiencing its fair share of natural disasters. Maybe the Mayans were in fact right when they said that the world would end this year. Weird things really have been occurring on our planet for quite a while now, but nothing as weird as... MORE »
Justin Bieber Not Coming to Cornell, But Guess Who Is?
With all the rumors of Justin Bieber coming to Cornell not being true, many girls on campus were heartbroken and disappointed that they wouldn’t get their chance with the teenage heartthrob. Lucky for you, ladies, another sensation is making his way to Ithaca this coming fall. Announced on his Facebook fan page this morning, Jersey... MORE »
Taio Cruz to Bring Rebecca Black to Slope Day
Last night on his Twitter, singer Taio Cruz announced that he is bringing a special guest to his Slope Day Performance on Friday. “Cornell!! im bringin my special boo rebecca black to slope day!! we guna get down this friday, friday, friday!” So get your middle school friends, make sure you have your cereal, don’t... MORE »