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Ithaca is…weird.
Look closely at the um...leg...hanging out of this person's trunk while driving through downtown Ithaca. Happy halloween...?
We Don’t Eat Meat….Or Products of Anything With Feelings
Ah yes, another “you know you go to Cornell when” photo. This is more than that though. This is a warning sign. If you see this car be cautious, the people on board are angry because they are most likely hungry. Additionally they are probably mad at you because you support hydrofracking even though you... MORE »
Cornell Halloween Mob
A massive group of Cornell students in Halloween costumes began to dance in the middle of the street in Collegetown this weekend. People have been referring to this as a flash mob. But in actuality it was just an unorganized mob of drunk people who thought they were at Dino’s #awkwardthatbarsclosed. MORE »
Let’s Hear It For The Sluts!
It’s the Christmas of college: Halloween weekend. Halloween was once known to all of us, in a much more innocent time, as the night where we dressed up as our favorite superhero and ate as much candy as our tiny tummy’s could hold before we puked. But now that we’re much older and wiser Halloween... MORE »
YOU CAN WIN MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!!!!!
Hey Basement dwellers! “¦ Wait, that’s a really creepy name to call our readers. Off to a good start. Hey guys! We’re excited to announce our first annual Campus Basement Halloween Contest. Now that we’re a bunch of miserable alums who all miss our glory days, we want to live vicariously through your awesome... MORE »
Breaking News: Zombies Discovered in College Campuses
ITHACA, NY””If you are anywhere near a college campus right now, be prepared. The long-hyped up invasion of fictitious soulless corpses has indeed occurred; lifeless college students are attacking us. It is still very unclear as to how these zombies were even created. According to sober observation, a chemical weapon was not unleashed and a... MORE »
Cornell Enforces Strict Dress Code on Stewart Avenue
Over the past few months, Cornell University has experienced an extraordinary amount of forcible touchings. Now these occur at every school and on every college campus in America, but there is no place like Stewart Avenue. The dark streets and dim lights are great signs for forcible touchers everywhere. It feels like every single morning... MORE »
5 Things I Learned About Billy Joel From Facebook
Billy Joel: 1. Wore a Cornell Sweatshirt on stage 2. Played a duet with President Skorton – who knows how to play the jazz flute like Ron Burgundy 3. Said Uptown Girl was a joke 4. Did not want to go to formal with anyone 5. Billy Joel > formals Thank you to everyone... MORE »
Cornell Engineers Design New Ball Sac
Jon Stewart made a joke about how poorly designed the male testicles are. Referring to how man is made in God’s own image he said, “Why would he take all our nerve endings and place them in a little sac that dangles outside of our bodies easily exposed to…tap (makes nut tapping noise)? Although intended as... MORE »
Goodbye Blackberry’s! Hello iPhones!
According to recent Facebook stalking, it seems the majority of social blackberry users are finally switching over to the iPhone. This is a huge step in technological progress””right next to the discovery of electricity and the invention of Totino’s Pizza Rolls (by the way, hats off to the guy that figured that one out.... MORE »