According to recent Facebook stalking, it seems the majority
of social blackberry users are finally switching over to the iPhone.


This is a huge step in technological progress””right next to
the discovery of electricity and the invention of Totino’s Pizza Rolls (by the
way, hats off to the guy that figured that one out. I’m a huge fan).


Now, some of you people might claim to be using some other
type of smartphone that is neither blackberry nor iPhone. Well, I don’t believe
you. I checked all over Apple’s website and couldn’t find a single thing.
They’re probably some knockoff you got on the street (by the way, you guys
should be careful showing those things off because they’re probably illegal.
And Apple will probably get pissed at you).


Now, back to talking about phones that actually matter.


Here’s a list of things to expect from former blackberry

-  Astonishment
that a phone can actually take a picture that doesn’t look like complete shit.

-  A
rough transition and reluctance in believing that you don’t need bbm to message

- It’s called a
text message. Get the fuck used to it!

-  Bragging
that they found this new game called Angry Birds.

-  Excitement
that their phone can hold music (even though their blackberry’s could to, but
they were too stupid to realize that and instead went out and blew $200 on an

-  “Look!
Look! I can make it zoom in by moving my fingers apart!”

-  Them
hating how their emails don’t pop-up automatically like their blackberry. Then
taking 5 months to realize they can change that in the Settings App.

-  “Omg,
I hate this virtual keyboard! I’m never gonna get used to this.” (Yes you
will. Please shut up).

-  Harassing
other iPhone users to FaceTime with them.

-  “What
the fuck is a push notification?”

-  Them
downloading the “Find Friends” app thinking its cool and funny. Then
realizing days, possibly even months later, that letting people stalk your
whereabouts 24/7 probably wasn’t the smartest idea.

-  A
sense of awkwardness when they ask for someone’s phone number and not their


Now what isn’t going to change from this “great

-  You
will still have a bunch of superficial douchebags using the same phone because
everyone else has one.

-  Long
Island/NYC/Westchester people still feeling like they are better than everyone
else because they have this phone.

-  People from elsewhere still hating them
for it.


Like I said earlier, this really is a great leap in
technological maturity.  We finally
won’t see people ignoring the world around them, as their eyes stay focused on
those stupid Blackberry’s. Because now”¦. now they will have an iPhone to do
the same thing with.


Ok, maybe things aren’t going to be much different.