Ever since Rudy Eugene, a.k.a. the Miami “Zombie”, made international headlines, the use of bath salts has risen. People are trying to get so high that they eat homeless people’s faces off. Sophomore-to-be Stephen Willis decided to give them a try, and made a terrible mistake.
The terrible mistake Willis made had nothing to do with eating people’s faces or stripping naked in public, but either way, he ended up in the hospital. On Monday afternoon, Willis went to Pyramid Mall to pick up some bath salts from Bath & Body Works and drank a whole bottle of them mixed with Dr. Pepper. He soon started feeling horrendous and called an ambulance because he thought he was dying.
When paramedics arrived to his apartment in Collegetown, Willis was naked in the bath tub throwing up on himself. He was claiming he couldn’t see and then hugged a paramedic, who hit him over the head with a bar of soap in self-defense. When the paramedics asked where the bath salts were and where he got them from, Willis pointed over to the bottle that he had purchased earlier in the day from Bath & Body Works.
The paramedics were astonished and told him that those weren’t the bath salts that had been on the news, but instead legitimate salts for a bubble bath. Once Willis heard that, he started break-dancing on the floor until he hit his head on a cabinet and passed out. Paramedics called it a sodium overdose.
Kids, don’t ever do the drugs you hear about on TV. Those drugs might actually be for bubble baths and not for zombie transformation. And if Willis learned anything, it would be that he needs to research his drug of choice before trying to trip out.