Giants

-I hear Peyton Manning’s recovered. Get him to play
quarterback. Eli’s jersey doesn’t specify which Manning needs to play.

-Remind Ahmad Bradshaw that even though he plays for the
Giants, the other team will be the same size.

-Try the Fumblerooski. This will pay out tremendously. For
me. I made a certain, little bet with my dealer.

­-Kevin Boothe went to Cornell. Make sure he’s the one keeping track of
the downs.

-Touchdowns are worth more than field goals. Don’t forget
that!

-Convince the Patriots that it was a different team that
ruined their perfect season three years ago. They’re probably still mad about
that.

-Even if you lose, kids in Africa will think you’ve won!

Patriots

-It is undeniable that the Patriots’ fate rests on the arm
of one individual: the guy who squirts the Gatorade into players’ mouths.
Hydration wins championships!

-Remember: the yellow lines are only on TV.

- Make sure Tom Brady cancels his February 5, 7:00 pm
manicure appointment. That’s game time.

-Bill Bellichik needs to trick the Giants’ groundskeepers
into thinking that the Patriot Act allows him to film Giants’ practices.

-New overtime
rules stipulate that if both teams fail to score a touchdown on their first
drives and/or third drives, and don’t injure a member of the opposing teams by
their second drives, respectively, and then prove incapable of completing a NY
Times Sunday Crossword puzzle by Sunday night 11:59pm, a mascot dance-off will
decide the game. Advantage: Patriots. They have a mascot.

-obligatory mention of Tim Tebow

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