ITHACA, NY: Shortly after announcing on Friday that Taio Cruz and the Neon Trees will be performing on Slope Day this year, selections director of the Slope Day Programming Board Sam Breslin ‘12 released information on what to expect for next year’s event as well. Though it is typical for Slope Day acts to be announced no more than a month or two before the last day of classes each year, Breslin revealed that the Akon Pandora Radio Station will be the feature attraction for the 2013 year-end festivities.

Despite rumors circulating campus that the SDPB was considering unconventional pop-rock bands like Blink-182 or Weezer for an upcoming Slope Day, the Board decided to take the programming in a similar direction to what it has done for the previous several years.

“While we realize that many students had expressed interest in more alternative options, we kind of just went ahead and assumed everybody would prefer to hear what they can hear on the radio whenever they want to anyway,” Breslin said. “The Slope Day Programming Board has worked hard in order to ensure that we have an act for the next two years, and we feel that the Cornell community will be excited for what they have in store.”

“Akon Radio will bring something to the table for all sorts of music fans,” said Noelle Cornelio ’12, chair of SDPB. “Offering music with modern R&B stylings, hip-hop influences, a subtle use of vocal counterpoint, a subtle use of vocal harmony, and repetitive melodic phrasing, there’s really something for everyone in there.” The Akon Radio station on Pandora includes selections from popular artists ranging from Akon, to Kanye West, to Flo Rida, to Akon.

“As of right now, we have not decided on an opening act for Slope Day ’13,” noted Breslin. “We might throw on my buddy T-Bone’s ‘DUB5T3P’ Spotify playlist, though. It’s pretty dope.” T-Bone was unavailable for a comment at the time of this writing.

According to Breslin, the money saved next year by not flying in an actual artist for Slope Day will help the school provide a more diverse set of musical entertainment for students throughout the year.

“We know the Cornell Concert Commission is planning on bringing in at least seven different house and electronic music DJ’s in 2013, so we’re more than happy to make sure they have the student activity funds to do so.”

 

**Neither Sam Breslin nor Noelle Cornelio actually said any of this. Obviously.

 

 

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