So you’re sitting on the crapper. You’re trying to squeeze out all those Valentine’s Day candies you inhaled while watching BOTH Bridget Jones’ movies. You need a distraction. What better distraction than tales from the hood? 

Rappers have enticed us for years with stories of “going hard on a ho” and “sticky green” and “bling”. Now these fun blogs tell the lesser-heard tales of the ghetto. The well known http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com provides insight into the world of a troubled teen, Bennett. Read his philosophies about life as you drop a deuce. 
In the second ghetto exposé, enter a mystical world where a lonely white man leads urban children through the woods. No, it’s not the beginning of a Law & Order : SVU episode! It’s http://ghettohikes.tumblr.com/ , and it will make you laugh so hard your lazy, candy-laden bowels will just relieve themselves. 
If you read these great websites and still find yourself to be a Constipated Carl/Clara (depending on gender), Campus Basement has a solution! Just go to the ghetto. At night. Wear red or blue. A lot of it. When shit gets real, and you start getting heckled and/or murdered, your body’s natural reaction will be… DEFECATION. Bye bye extra Valentine’s Day weight! Hello regularity and/or morgue!
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