I know it’s been a difficult time, with everyone complaining
about “the 1 percent”. People at Columbia have been downright furious, stating
their allegiance to the 99% and yelling irately at those who say otherwise.
Well you know what? I think it’s time we have the courage to say what we are,
to be who we are, without fear that
our fellow Columbians will reject us. My name is Logan Guntzelman, and I am a
1-percenter.

I’ve tried to be like the 99 % – oh how I’ve tried to like
the other types of dairy products like the majority of my peers. I’m confused
how being a 1-percenter fell so far out of favor. Is it all or nothing now?
Full-fat or skim? Did the Huffington Post write a scathing article on lowfat
milk products, causing liberal Colombians to immediately reject my beloved
without question?

Well I have a question, Columbia. Do I look

A)
Depressed and melancholy in this picture

B)
Awesomely content and elated in this picture

C)
Mildly to severely insane in this picture

It’s probably B and C, thanks to 1 percent. It’s time we
1-percenters come out of hiding. Join my cause, and fight for what you believe
in.

PS ““ word to all the whole milk haters out there. It’s
Occupy Wallstreet, not Occupy my Arteries with Heart-Clogging Fat and
Cholesterol.

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