Oh, the joys of my college years. T’is given me the opportunity to meet so many types of people and get to know them (mostly by Facebook stalking). Alas, t’is also implies forced cohabitation with some of the most unlikable people on this watery earth. Now, as we advance, it seems like we meet fewer of these people and farther between. But be warned, the fewer you encounter, the bigger the shitehawk that they are.
The clueless one
This person (ahem, girl) seems to think that the entire universe revolves around her. She is convinced that life on earth does not exists around her. She is clueless as to the world outside her self-appointed halo and she is convinced that parties at the suites and townhouses are a real shit-fest if she doesn’t flash some of that bandage-skirted leg and grace us with her royal fucking presence.
The arrogant one
Cue quote “I’m just worried that if I start talking to him, he’ll like me. That’s why I don’t say hi back” Wow, sentences like this are one of the reasons that females are still the weaker sex. Convinced he’ll fall for you? Maybe you should listen to his drunken rant about the real bitch he tries to be nice to.
The self-righteous one
When all her statements begin with “I personally would never …” while looking at another girl or “I only ever date…” or “I don’t mean to be mean but…” There’s something wrong. And most girls probably hate her. Beauty is skin deep and glamour is forever but your personality is fucking hideous.
The racist one
There is a HUGE problem if half of your sentences begin with “I don’t mean to be racist but…”
The exaggerated sense of self-worth one
She’s convinced that her steely silence is punishment enough. Life goes on. Without her.
Finally, that awkward moment when that is all one person. And they live with you. Oh fuck me.