Nick Ciccone

freestyle rapper / sandwich connoisseur
March 27, 2012

Dorm Room Saga: Guy-Posters vs. Girl-Posters

There are several ways to tell the difference between a guy and a girl: length of hair, ability to drive a car, absence of a penis, etc.  But one surefire way to shout your gender from a mountaintop is what you post on your dorm room wall.  Your dorm room says a hell of a... MORE »

March 17, 2012

Snooki’s Baby-Daddy Goes to Hofstra

As it turns out, Snooki is not the main character of the film, “A Clockwork Orange.” But she’s been as controversial. Known for her binge drinking and slurred speech, Snooki appears to be more pregnant than usual these days. The question on everyone’s mind is, who’s her baby-daddy? I’m here to tell you all that... MORE »

February 28, 2012

New Academic Building Actually a Spaceship

Hofstra’s not-so-New Academic building will give anyone an architectural boner. It’s sleek, sexy, and streamlined to perfection. But don’t let its clever name fool you, it has been confirmed that the building is actually a fully functional spacecraft built by NASA. That’s right, NASA. Shit just got serious. The New Academic building or, NAB, for... MORE »

February 14, 2012

Student Trapped in Elevator: “Kim Kardashian’s Tweets Saved My Life”

It’s been quite a week here at Hofstra: the weather’s been beautiful, professors have been absent, and I can’t think of a third clause. But for some, there have been better weeks. Fred No-go, a fictitious yet lovable Hofstra freshman, was stuck in the library elevator for 5 hours on Sunday night. Here’s what he... MORE »

January 31, 2012

Coverage of Saturday’s Game (By Someone Who Doesn’t Get Sports)

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. The men’s basketball team played a game this past Saturday against Northeastern that was also especially heinous. Here is every thought that crossed my mind throughout the game: > How intensely do I have to cheer when we score? I guess I’ll just... MORE »

January 24, 2012

How to Seduce the Elderly

Finding a companion is hard these days. If you’re like me, you probably feel like you’ve tried everything. Holding the door for her, walking her home, watching her undress from outside her bedroom window. You know, romance. But sometimes chivalry isn’t enough, gents. Nowadays, women care about ridiculous qualities like, “Will my parents like him?”... MORE »

December 13, 2011

The Final Commute

Being a commuter can be tough. Whether you’ve decided to live at home to save money or because you couldn’t part with your stuffed animals, the commuter gene is a part of your DNA. Commuters like to keep to themselves, and so they rarely disclose that they live at home. The only way to tell... MORE »

December 6, 2011

Life Lessons: Desk Edition

“What’s the point? We’re all just gonna die anyway.” THANKS FOR THE INFO HIPPY-DESK! How about YOU write my final papers? Eh? MORE »