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September 17, 2011

Party at President Skorton’s House!

Since the policy for fraternity parties has changed this semester, many freshmen have been left wondering €œwhere am I gonna get my keystone buzz on and rub up against total strangers?€ Freshmen year without being crowded into the hot sweaty basement of a fraternity house and waking up in a “sober monitor” shirt (that you... MORE »

September 1, 2011

Library 101

Roommates pet turtle making it hard for you to study in your dorm? Maybe this can help you pick your ideal study spot. Although who are we kidding.. it probably won’t. MORE »

April 15, 2011

Ithaca is Gorges No More

Due to the recent uproar on the part of both students and faculty President Skorton has finally decided to take down the fences. In place of the infamous fences Skorton has made the executive decision to fill in the gorges. Requests are now being taken to decide what the gorges should be filled with.  Might... MORE »

February 18, 2011

It’s Finally Here!

For those of you who were captivated by The Pyrimidines and had to go back for more with the Pyrimidines Supplement I and still felt uneasy…well… wait no more. It’s finally here.. the Pyrimidines Supplement II!!!!! It will answer all the questions that The Pyrimidines and the Pyrimidines Supplement I didn’t answer like: Who writes... MORE »

December 14, 2010

You Know You Go to Cornell When…

You see this picture and think “I’d like to have sex there”.  #1 on the list of 161 things to do before you graduate Cornell is sex in the stacks, and as a student I can’t say I’m anymore immune to this than the rest of you.. show me a dark creepy hallway that looks... MORE »

November 7, 2010

Cornell’s New Approach to Security

Feeling unsafe during your late night walk home from the bars? Follow the lead of this collegetown house! Because seriously, what robber is going to risk being shot with a cannon? There’s no surviving that. MORE »

November 5, 2010

Cornell’s Dino Discrimination

Can you imagine the carbon footprint on a Hummer big enough to fit a t-rex? Dinosaurs riding bikes are the best way to keep our campus green. MORE »