Leah Folta

I have felt embarrassed for the past 21 years.
April 2, 2012

Week in Review: Fell in love with a News

Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines Nikias names recipient of staff award : I’m not giving mine away til I’m married Former First Lady of California and journalist Maria Shriver will speak at the Annenberg Communication Commencement : School of Marrying Unfaithful Bodybuilders graduates are piiiiissed DPS officers responded to a... MORE »

March 31, 2012
March 31, 2012

Graduating student realizes she missed the “weird hair window”

“I never thought I’d be someone who DIDN’t cut half my hair off and dye it red,” says Elle, a grad student finishing school in May. She has recently realized what many students do – there’s a small window in which to experiment with extreme hairstyles, after which being taken seriously by the squarer members... MORE »

March 23, 2012

Health center now has vaccine to protect sexually active students against Feelings

Feelings is a sexually transmitted disease in the same vein as pregnancy – when wanted, it can be a beautiful thing. When unwanted, as is often the case during college years, it can ruin lives. “My day to day is pretty manageable,” says Alex, a sophomore whose Feelings escalated to Hurt Feelings and to full-blown... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Parents refuse another bailout though sophomore says she is “too big to fail”

“I made a bad business decision. I understand that now,” an anonymous* student** says, of the six months’ food money she spent this week on airplane tickets, tequila, sunscreen, Mexican-jail-bribe money and large amounts of cocaine (“as a joke!” she insists, rolling her eyes). “I am an institution! In my hall, in my study groups,... MORE »

March 19, 2012

21-year-old can finally drink in bars, can’t afford to drink in bars

“I’m not ordering cocktails made of gold!” yelled one SC senior as he was escorted out of a busy downtown bar last night. “Do they come off-brand?? Do you do payment plans?!” He is just one of many students whose long-awaited 21st birthdays quickly tanked due to bar-drink sticker shock. “Fifteen bucks is either a bottle... MORE »

March 19, 2012

BREAKING: Guy who doesn’t chip in thought beer was free

“It’s like when I found out Santa wasn’t real, all over again,” says Ross*, a junior who hasn’t put a dime toward beer the three years he’s been drinking it. “When I think back to all the shotgunning, all the beer pong… Even the victories feel like shame.” The frequent party host who broke the... MORE »

March 17, 2012

Week in Review: Hard out here for a News

Some employers look to Facebook profiles to determine a potential hire’s personality : I can’t figure out how to delete that application that put me in Hufflepuff!! DPS detained two bike theft suspects; one was found in possession of a pair of bolt cutters and a bike that he admitted was stolen, and the second suspect... MORE »

March 2, 2012

Graduating senior decides not to leave

Hi, school. We’ve been together for over 16 years now. I know you’re in your 130s and that doesn’t seem like a long time, but it’s 16/21 of my life and I don’t know why you’re doing this to me. I guess I always knew the graduating thing was coming. College is this cushy, insulated... MORE »