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February 9, 2012

Freshman Steps on ‘M,’ Disintegrates

Unless you are an idiot, foreign, or go to Ohio, or some combination of the three, you know that stepping on the “M’ before your first bluebook results in failing said test at UofM. The brass, block-letter “M’, donated by the class of ’53, has scared off more kids than (insert pedophile). Activists have set... MORE »

February 7, 2012

Mary Sue Coleman Spotted Raging at SAE, Rick’s

Like a solar eclipse, it’s not every day that you see University of Michigan President Mary Sue Coleman drop the whole goody-goody act for some quality partying. In an attempt to better “relate” to the student body, Coleman chose to begin Friday night’s festivities at the tier-1 frat, Sigma Alpha Epsilon. The Bros, of course,... MORE »

February 4, 2012

Blagoevich Caught Trading for Rights to Electric Chair

In a last ditch effort to save his ass, former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagoevich, pulled all the plugs. Prison warden, Joseph Salchicha, has reportedly confirmed that Blagoevich was talking with former-former Governor, George Ryan, about, “getting outta here.” According to the account, Blagoevich has been accused of asking Ryan to “get him on that... MORE »