April 8, 2012

Fun and Names: USC’s Bizarre Buildings

When you wander around campus, you may find yourself chuckling at the quaint and curious monikers that USC consistently slaps on building after building.  They appear to do this with no regard for what most students, unversed in campus history, might assume they mean.  Here are a few of my favorites. Argue Plaza — After... MORE »

April 1, 2012

Make Some April Fools!

It’s that day again, dear readers.  It is a day of enlightenment, for us all to share in new beliefs.  Today, gullible is written on the ceiling, genetically-engineered winged pigs have escaped their containment tanks, and HBO canceled Game of Thrones on a whim at 12:00 AM.  Really! Anyone with half a brain can become... MORE »

March 26, 2012 1 Comment

Treasured Meme-ories: When The Exposition Park Metro Didn’t Run

Word on the web is that the LA Metro stop south of campus will open for passengers on April 28th, 2012.  We’re pretty sure that that won’t happen, though if it does, batten down your hatches in December.  Just in case, we present this goofy collection of all the little frustrations we felt because of... MORE »

February 26, 2012

Tripping the Light Sarcastic

The recent Daily Trojan article on sarcasm left me a little out of sorts. “One idiom calls sarcasm the lowest form of wit,” the columnist wrote. Though it’s not a direct attack, I still feel that it’s my duty to hold up some sort of shield to protect sarcasm and USC Basement, where sarcasm brings us... MORE »

February 19, 2012

Coma Patient Enraged That Friends Already Have Housing

CB reporters had to provide a steady supply of Kleenex as emotion, tears and tear-snot poured out of sophomore Nick Cataton early this afternoon.  ”Franklin turned to me with this look like he’d forgotten to grab his laundry out of the dryer. “Oh, uh, we already got housing.’ I mean, is that all I am... MORE »

February 5, 2012

James Franco Disciplined for Internet Release of First 290 Project

The James Franco’s short film “UNDERGRADS – Episode 1″ met with great controversy last Friday when it screened in his CTPR 241/290 section. The room buzzed with feedback from his fellow students in the introductory filmmaking class, but professors Doug Banks and Mary Ford were grim in their analysis. “Well, I enjoyed the film,” said... MORE »

January 24, 2012

A Letter of Apology From All of Me

Dearest Campus Basement Readers, I’m not sleeping with them. Oh no. I’m just saying, “Dearest’ is a little much. Hey there Campus Basement fans, They aren’t idiots. You, however, can’t even punctuate properly. Hey there, CB Fans, I regret to inform you – What are you, a rejection letter? No, what I am is frustrated,... MORE »

January 18, 2012

Super Mascot USC Bros.: Melee!

Has anyone else ever noticed that we have at least three mascots and wondered why they don’t duke it out for supremacy?  One of the characteristics of the ideal Trojan is “Ambitious,” after all.  Since they haven’t yet, I’ve decided to give them a helping hand and hold the first Trojan Mascot-Off!  May the best... MORE »

January 12, 2012

Turtle My World

Some called it “turtling,” “flipping,” “burritoing,” or “nuggeting,” but many remember the high school gag of taking someone’s backpack, removing the contents, turning it inside out and putting everything back in. Masters of the craft could steal a backpack in the middle of class and reverse it so quietly that the victim knew nothing until... MORE »