Daniel T

April 7, 2012

The “Titanic” Drinking Game

Chances are you were anywhere from 4 to 7 years old when James Cameron’s Titanic cruised into theaters in December 1997. But even if you weren’t, you were probably still too young when it first came out: too young to sit still in a movie theater for three hours, too young to look at Kate... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Freshman Breaks Ground on Spring Break Blanket Fort

Marshall Hess didn’t have any plans for spring break. “I told my mom a couple weeks ago that I was going to buy my plane ticket home for spring break,” said Hess, an undeclared freshman from Washington. “But she suggested that I try doing something else for the ‘full college experience.’ Plus, her and my... MORE »

January 27, 2012

Student Mistakes Boba Suite for “Star Wars” Idol’s Home

Tom Murphy’s dreams were about to come true. “I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t breathe,” said Murphy, a freshman television-radio-film major. “Hell, I even had trouble using the bathroom ““ I was just that excited. I spent the better part of the week sitting in my room, bracing myself.” But by Thursday evening,... MORE »

January 20, 2012

Awkward and Awesome: Back to School Edition

Was your Christmas jolly? Did you have eight crazy nights? Was your New Year’s Eve a (drunken) night to forget? Well, no one gives a fuck now that you’re back at school! And here’s 8 awkward things – and 8 awesome things – about being back on the hill. Awkward: Hearing other people’s drunken stories... MORE »

December 6, 2011

What Your Order from CampusFood.com Says About You

Bubble tea from Unique Tea HouseAt this point, ordering bubble tea from CampusFood.com says that you’ve gotten past the initial texture freak-out and have moved onto the common yet unhealthy phase of obsession. You’ve scheduled group meetings and first dates at Unique Tea House as any excuse to feed your addiction. At this point, having... MORE »

November 29, 2011

Syracuse Cancels Winter

The city of Syracuse made the decision to cancel this year’s winter in an unprecedented announcement this morning. “We felt it was in our city’s best interest to hold off on winter for this year,” Mayor Stephanie Miner said in a statement. “Frankly, I’m tired of staining my boots with rock salt.” Within the past... MORE »

November 15, 2011

DPS Discovers Black Market for Newhouse Editing Software

Department of Safety officers at Syracuse University discovered an underground black market for the distribution of popular computer software ““ used primarily in Newhouse ““ after checking on a South Campus apartment Monday afternoon.             Two DPS officers conducting a routine apartment check on Small Road were surprised to find over a dozen students sitting... MORE »

October 11, 2011

Dunkin’ Donuts Closes; Students Despair

A shortage of orange straws caused Dunkin’ Donuts in the Schine Dining Center to shut down today, throwing the Syracuse University student body into a state of mass panic. The popular on-campus establishment closed at noon following its inability to provide the straws, leaving students confused and unable to cope with its unexpected closure. “I’m... MORE »

October 4, 2011

Arrested Development Set to Return; Hardly Anyone Cares

Sunday’s announcement that Arrested Development would be returning for a limited television run and a movie had virtually zero effect on the Syracuse University student body.             “Isn’t that a hip hop group?” asked Eugene Hamm, a junior television-radio-film major.             Mitch Hurwitz, creator of the series, announced his plans at the New Yorker Festival... MORE »